While part of being emotionally intelligent involves knowing what to say at the right time, it also involves knowing when it’s best to hold your tongue. Just as silence speaks volumes, what you don’t say can convey respect, understanding, and restraint. Sometimes, withholding words can prevent misunderstandings, preserve relationships, and demonstrate empathy of others’ feelings.

Everyone stumbles from time to time. However, emotionally intelligent people tend to avoid certain phrases that can negatively impact their relationships. Here are 20 phrases emotionally intelligent people avoid saying — and things to say instead that will help you foster good relationships.

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