When you’re about to become a parent for the first time, even strangers will go out of their way to offer encouragement and support. Our grizzled general contractor from South Jersey would sit me down daily to discuss what Mona and I were about to experience.

This outpouring of love from unexpected places should serve as a warning to the uninitiated that what they’re about to embark on is so fantastically and universally difficult, that it has the power to create bonds between complete strangers.

I was reminded of this unifying phenomenon when we publicly announced the founding of our ad agency, Bandits & Friends.

Our network mobilized in a chorus of well-wishes along with some incredibly generous and practical help. But it was the support of the other start-up founders that really caught me off guard.

Some we knew, but many were relative strangers. They were so excited and enthusiastic about the prospect of us joining the fray. They were quick to offer tips and bits of wisdom that might pass off as cordial social graces, but then they’d follow up with introductions, recommendations and the kind of help we were in no position to reciprocate as a three-person company squatting in the back of a coffee shop. Or, more often than not, in the back of a music house (thank you New Math, Mr. Bronx and Duotone—we are forever grateful).

At one point I found myself wondering why everyone was being so nice. Part of me thought this could just be that been-there-done-that empathy from the older parents all over again. Even the founder of a company in year two can look at someone with a freshly minted LLC and think, “Oh, you have no idea what you’re in for, little buddy.”

And part of that was probably the case. But the gesture was more than mere empathy; it was real-world help. Help that could accelerate our growth into the kind of agency they might have to compete with for clients and talent and production dinner invites. Weren’t they a little worried about us? Where were the sharp elbows? Where were the cutthroat competitive antics Mad Men had prepared us for?

I’m embarrassed to admit how long it took me to relax and accept that the help wasn’t part of some elaborate ruse. There’s a real sense of camaraderie among the startups that outshines the natural competitiveness.

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